Marital Musings

Marriage Advice From a Couple Married 72 Years

This video from the site Awkward Family Photos made me smile. Check it out!

"Keeping The Spark Alive In Your Marriage"

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No new information here, but it's a good quick reminder!

Marriage Study: Research Reveals That Wives Call Husbands More Than Anyone Else

 

Women call their husbands more than anyone else in their phonebooks which, according to a new report, could indicate that wives are more interested in their relationships than their husbands are.

"It's the first really strong evidence that romantic relationships are driven by women," said Robin Dunbar, the study's co-author.

 

When I read this recent piece from The Huffington Post the first thing I wondered was is this really the first strong evidence that relationships are driven by women? I found that hard to believe. Even more than that, I questioned how it could be determined that the number of phone calls a woman makes is indicative of her level of interest in the relationship. What I thought is that married women are generally responsible for most of what goes on in the family. I think if you asked many women about the content of all those calls to their husbands their responses would have less to do with their interest in the relationship and more to do with what's for dinner, picking up the kids, what bill has or has not been paid, and if he can pick up the dry cleaning. 

What Happens When Too Much Focus Is On The Wedding...

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Watch the video or read the full article in the New York Times.

"How to Get Your Significant Other to Play Golf"

I was recently quoted on the Golfsmith website. Here is an excert from the piece by Drew Wilson.

Blogger Paula Holt writes about marriage and relationships. Over the years, her husband has gone from an occasional golfer, to a fanatic she calls “Golf Guy.” To alleviate her concerns over his increasing obsession, Holt’s husband arranged golf lessons for her. Now she’s into it. Sort of. 

“I wouldn't say lessons have gotten me ‘hooked,’ but they have made me want to take more lessons,” she said. A step in the right direction. Another step included joining a family-friendly club with a swimming pool and nice restaurant. On days she doesn’t feel like golfing, Holt can still enjoy a beautiful day while her husband plays a few rounds.

 

For more tips on getting your spouse hooked on golf, read the entire piece on the Golfsmith's Golf Tips page.

"No Cheating, No Dying" by Elizabeth Weil

 

  Dewey Nicks for The New York Times

"By trying to make their good marriage better, Elizabeth Weil and Daniel Duane tested it."

 

In December of 2009 Elizabeth Weil wrote a piece in the New York Times about her marriage. "Married (Happily) with Issues" was both revealing and relatable. In the piece Weil discussed her "pretty good marriage" but she admitted it could be better. She decided that she and her husband should apply themselves to their marriage in the same way their pursued other endeavors in their life. As Weil wrote:

The idea of trying to improve our union came to me one night in bed. I’ve never really believed that you just marry one day at the altar or before a justice of the peace. I believe that you become married — truly married — slowly, over time, through all the road-rage incidents and precolonoscopy enemas, all the small and large moments that you never expected to happen and certainly didn’t plan to endure. But then you do: you endure. And as I lay there, I started wondering why I wasn’t applying myself to the project of being a spouse. My marriage was good, utterly central to my existence, yet in no other important aspect of my life was I so laissez-faire. Like most of my peers, I applied myself to school, friendship, work, health and, ad nauseam, raising my children. But in this critical area, marriage, we had all turned away. I wanted to understand why. I wanted not to accept this. Dan, too, had worked tirelessly — some might say obsessively — at skill acquisition. Over the nine years of our marriage, he taught himself to be a master carpenter and a master chef. He was now reading Soviet-era weight-training manuals in order to transform his 41-year-old body into that of a Marine. Yet he shared the seemingly widespread aversion to the very idea of marriage improvement. Why such passivity? What did we all fear?

 

The couple took marriage education classes, did various forms of therapy and even swam from Alcatraz to San Francisco. Now Weil has written a memoir about their journey. I'm sure the book, like the article, will cause many people to question their own pretty good marriage.

by Simon & Schuster

 

For more information about the book read an interview with Elizabeth Weil.