I Survived The Holidays

I see the light at the end of the holiday tunnel. Before Christmas, the light felt like a train coming toward me. An electric train to be more specific. The train my father bought my son for Christmas and then asked me to set up so my son could come down to find it on Christmas morning. My father went on to tell me that if I set it up, my son would remember seeing the train for the rest of his life. The rest of his life. No pressure there, Dad. Without going into the details of my cursing and near-tear-filled Christmas Eve, let's just say I struggled with the train.

That's what the holidays are mostly about for me - cursing, near-tears and a heavy dose of exhaustion. These feelings are only compounded by society's expectation that I be joyful. Commercials and holiday songs tell me I should be cozied up by the fireplace smiling lovingly at my family while we sip cocoa. One song just blatantly says the holidays are the "most wonderful" time of year. That song bothers me. It always leaves me questioning what I am doing wrong that instead of wonderful, I find it the most physically and emotionally stressful time of year.

This year I decided to search for the answer. Not by turning inward to examine if I take on too much or if I've strayed from the true meaning of Christmas. No, I decided to find out who the hell is responsible for that song. It turns out "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" was written in 1963 by two men, George Wyle and Edward Pola. It was first recorded later that year by Andy Williams. Further research (yes, I did research) suggests that all 3 men were married in 1963. Although the 60's was a time of great social change, marriage was still largely stuck in its traditional format of a bread-winning husband and a homemaking wife. In that moment it was all clear to me. It was the most wonderful time of year to the men who wrote and sang the song because they didn't have to do anything to get ready for it! No shopping, cooking, cleaning, holiday cards, house decorating, and no primary care for children who are overexcited, under-rested and out of school. Now I don't feel so bad about my bah humbuggy attitude. If my spouse were a 1963 wife who did all the work, I'd probably think the holidays were wonderful too.

Comments

[Fawn]

That's funny. It's truly the most wonderful time of the year for us because my husband's bday is Christmas eve and our anniversary is a few days later. It's also the only time we can truly "rest" because my husband's office completely shuts down for the final 1-2 weeks of the year. But there's also a few thing that are very different for us: 1) We don't exchange gifts with each other or anyone else. We found it to be too much so we stopped and oddly enough, everyone seems to like that because they don't have to shop for us either; 2) My mother-in-love does all the cooking for holidays (her favorite thing in the world so we let her have at it); and 3) God hasn't blessed us with any little ones yet so no caregiving required (yet). So we do sing that song too but I sympathize with you dilemma, it must be tough. Wishing you a joyful New Year! I hope it's much less stressful :).

[Stacy B.]

I always feel that everyone else is on holiday break/vacation except me. I had to make an EFFORT this year to take a break by thinking, what would we be doing if we went away for Christmas? I wouldn't be cooking, tidying the house, doing laundry, etc. but we still had to eat, blah blah blah. I made sure THIS YEAR that we ordered in a little more (less cooking for me) and that any chores that had to be done was a family affair! Honestly, when I planned that out ahead of time it made for a much more pleasant holiday experience. Still the goal for Christmas 2012 is to be in Maui on Dec. 26th through the New Year!