Marital Musings

"10 Ways Budgeting Saved My Marriage"

via www.forbes.com

On the heels of my last post about couples making New Year's resolutions together, here is an article about how working together on your spending habits can have a positive impact on your marriage. If you have already made a resolution to work on your finances (as my husband and I have), this article may help give you the incentive to stick with it as the year moves on. The writer mentions that "budgeting is not the slightest bit romantic", however, I would say that it can be very romantic. When my husband and I first met with our financial planner and began to discuss our goals, it was concrete evidence that we were planning for our future together and not just talking about it. 

It's Not Too Late!

Although the calendar may say it's already January, when it comes to making resolutions I consider the first few weeks of the year a grace period. With the busy holiday season and many people having kids who are out of school, there's no real time before January 1st to sit down and reflect about goals for the upcoming year. You might scoff at the idea of making resolutions, but it can be helpful to start the year with a set of intentions to guide you. This can be particularly true for couples. Whether it's improving the quality of your relationship, the quality of your health, or some other area of your life, as 12 New Year's Resolutions Every Couple Should Make points out "making resolutions with a partner can help you stick to your promises and can also strengthen your relationship." Check out the article for some good suggestions or come up with your own. Just resolve at least one thing...together. Happy New Year!

"Our Perfect Merger (and Acquisition)"

Check out how one couple manages being partners in marriage as well as partners in business. Selena and Khary Cuffe own Heritage Link Brands, the largest importer to the United States of black-produced wine from Africa. In a weekly column for Inc. the couple will share their entrepreneurial journey and what it takes to keep a marriage strong while working together in a challenging business environment. Wine lovers will also enjoy the weekly wine tip.

Marital Musings Voted #3 on The Top 10 Marriage Blogs of 2011 List!

Thank you to everyone who voted for Marital Musings! Of the 48 blogs nominated, your votes pushed us all the way up to #3. Congratulations to all of the other Top 10 Marriage Blogs of 2011. 

I Survived The Holidays

I see the light at the end of the holiday tunnel. Before Christmas, the light felt like a train coming toward me. An electric train to be more specific. The train my father bought my son for Christmas and then asked me to set up so my son could come down to find it on Christmas morning. My father went on to tell me that if I set it up, my son would remember seeing the train for the rest of his life. The rest of his life. No pressure there, Dad. Without going into the details of my cursing and near-tear-filled Christmas Eve, let's just say I struggled with the train.

That's what the holidays are mostly about for me - cursing, near-tears and a heavy dose of exhaustion. These feelings are only compounded by society's expectation that I be joyful. Commercials and holiday songs tell me I should be cozied up by the fireplace smiling lovingly at my family while we sip cocoa. One song just blatantly says the holidays are the "most wonderful" time of year. That song bothers me. It always leaves me questioning what I am doing wrong that instead of wonderful, I find it the most physically and emotionally stressful time of year.

This year I decided to search for the answer. Not by turning inward to examine if I take on too much or if I've strayed from the true meaning of Christmas. No, I decided to find out who the hell is responsible for that song. It turns out "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" was written in 1963 by two men, George Wyle and Edward Pola. It was first recorded later that year by Andy Williams. Further research (yes, I did research) suggests that all 3 men were married in 1963. Although the 60's was a time of great social change, marriage was still largely stuck in its traditional format of a bread-winning husband and a homemaking wife. In that moment it was all clear to me. It was the most wonderful time of year to the men who wrote and sang the song because they didn't have to do anything to get ready for it! No shopping, cooking, cleaning, holiday cards, house decorating, and no primary care for children who are overexcited, under-rested and out of school. Now I don't feel so bad about my bah humbuggy attitude. If my spouse were a 1963 wife who did all the work, I'd probably think the holidays were wonderful too.